Developing a Strong Sense of Self

Your sense of self can be a blessing, or a curse.

Written by on July 12, 2016

Published in Insights

Your sense of self can be a blessing, or a curse.

If you have a strong, empowering, and flexible sense of self it’s the greatest thing. If your have a weak, disempowering, and rigid sense of self it’s a horrible curse.

Because your sense of self dictates how you go through this world. It dictates how you feel about yourself. It’s dictates how you interact with other people. It empowers you to reach your fullest potential, or disempowers you and holds you back – leaving you frustrated and unhappy.

If your sense of self is strong and flexible you’ll navigate your life with a sense of ease. Traveling, trying new things, giving yourself 100% to what matters most to you will be very natural. The world will be yours to explore and life will be an all around good time. Abundance will be your vibe.

A person with a strong sense of self has extremely empowering beliefs. Here’s a few off:

  • “If someone else can do it, so can I.”
  • “I can do whatever I put my mind to.”
  • “When I do things, I go all out without hesitation.”
  • “People naturally like and respect me. Why wouldn’t they?”

If your sense of self is weak and ridged you probably aren’t going to be doing too many new things in life. You’ll be stuck. You’ll be filled with fear whenever new things come around both because of a fear of failure, plus you’ll be holding onto old identities. “This isn’t me!” Whenever a new experience comes around. You’ll constantly feel as if you’re a stranger in this world. Neediness and fear will be your vibe.

A person with a weak sense of self has extremely disempowering beliefs. Here’s a few:

  • “Other people are special, I’m not.”
  • “Things rarely work out for me.”
  • “I always suck at new things. I’ll stick to my comfort zone where at least I’m safe.”
  • “People inherently don’t like me. Why would they?”

Where does your sense of self come from?

Generally, it comes from past experiences:

  • What kind of family did you come from?
  • Where do you fit within your family?
  • How were your parents in raising you?
  • What kind of people were they?
  • What religion were you raised in?
  • How did you compare to your peers in school? In sports?
  • What were your friendship dynamics like?
  • What kind of media did you get exposed to?

And on and on. All of these things contribute to the default sense of self.

Obviously if you grew up in shit circumstances (like most people including me), you’re likely going to have a shit sense of self. The degree of shit you were exposed to will be the degree of internal work you’ll need to do.

Going beyond the default

The good news is you can reinvent yourself. You can go beyond the default. You can become strong and develop a strong sense of self. One that is empowering and makes life an adventure. Fear can be replaced with fun.

How do you do this?

Step 1: realize that your experience of life is dynamic, not static. Every moment is unique. No two moments you’ve ever experienced are the same. Realize this.

So it follows that since life itself is dynamic, you can be too. You can create a new experience of life for yourself. You can be dynamic. You can change.

Step 2: realize that you have the power. Your personal power resides in this moment. This one right now. That’s where your power to decide is. You have the power. You have the power to decide.

How do you want to be? Simply decide.

Step 3: lock it in with systems. This is why I’m doing the disciple challenge. Sometimes I get lost in old ways of being too. Sometimes weakness overcomes me. I lose touch with my power that is now.

This is where systems come in handy. In a moment of clarity, you make the master decision once, and go forward and “just do it.” You create a program for your life, and you just stick to it.

“Hey look, it’s some sugar!” Says your temptress mind. “Sorry man, we’re not doing that anymore, it’s already been decided. We’re sticking to the program.”

Soon your mind takes the hint. After a certain amount of time, an entirely new sense of self has been molded. A consciously crafted one replaces the default. You’ve expanded and become a more powerful personal internally. What a beautiful thing.

Final thoughts

What I’m talking about here is a lot like lifting weights: it’s not hard in theory, and you just have to do it. It’s about execution. It’s not rocket science.

There ain’t nothing to it, but to do it.

There ain’t nothing to it, but to do it.

So find inspiring people and pay attention to them. I use YouTube every morning and usually evening too to just absorb successful people who have the strong sense of self I’m talking about here. I personally love listening to UFC fighter Conor McGregor. I love Tesla CEO Elon Musk. I love Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz. I love the mystic Sadhguru. Instead of TV I watch YouTube clips of these people, and others, and just absorb their vibe.

There is so much value in just observing people you look up to. Read biographies. Find people that make you stop and say “Damn, I’d really like to be like this person. I’d love to experience life they way they are.”

Be a sponge with positive media and influences. Seek them out.

This life is yours for the taking. Upgrade your default, weak, disempowering sense of self with something superior. One that allows you to tap into your fullest potential and experience the beauty and possibilities of life… completely.

About Marcus Creed

Hey, I'm Marcus, creator of Untroubled & Strong. Untroubled & Strong is about finding your center, your core, the strongest version of yourself… embracing it and being it, full-time, moment to moment. Join me on the journey. Subscribe below.